Spiritual Abuse/Religious Trauma

 

Spiritual abuse and religious trauma are epidemic. The church has lost credibility; indeed, the whole of Christianity and virtually every other expression of organized religion are suspect.

For those who have somehow escaped the epidemic, this blog will attempt to offer two ways (there are more than two ways) to understand the origins and causes of the mental and emotional pain. Hopefully, some empathy can be found and exercised.

For those whose lives are tormented by the epidemic, I hope to offer a word of encouragement without making it worse by seeming to pressure you to respond in any specific way. I write in the spirit of the 1927 poem by Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata,” with which I will close.

There is a perceived lack of integrity on the part of some of the most vocal and most prominent leaders of Christianity. When television became widespread in the 1950s and 60s, the cat was out of the bag. They preach a Jesus who, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head” (Matthew 8:20; Luke 9:58). Then after preaching about this homeless, poor 1^st century Jewish carpenter, they go to their multimillion-dollar mansions, fly around in their private jets, and party on their million-dollar yachts. There’s a serious disconnect, and the Church of Jesus Christ is misrepresented

But the so-called prosperity gospel was about more than money. The famous revivalists of the first half of the 20^th century were in the business of saving souls—but the souls that were saved all to frequently ended up ignored and uncared for, and the revivalist marked another soul on his/her scorecard.

Generation X saw that the emperor had no clothes, and the church; indeed, Christianity was stereotyped as a bunch of uncaring, scorekeeping, hypocritical oligarchs. A whole generation of precious children of God disillusioned by a population they had been conditioned to hold in high esteem. One of my nephews, a Gen-Xer, wrote a song with lyrics, “Welcome to my playground, where heroes never die.”

A second seed of abuse and trauma has been a default theology that begins with humanity as sinful—in some Christian quarters totally depraved. The fear of hell was weaponized and used to beat people into spiritual submission. And, again, too often that was the strategy of the scorekeeping revivalists, and the result has been a society built on guilt and shame.

Who wants that? Guilt can be very traumatic, and those who exploit it are abusive.

By contrast, I would offer a faith (a biblical faith, I believe) in a loving God who longs to be reconciled with any of God’s children who veer off the path God has laid out for what Jesus called “abundant life.” Jesus’ Beatitudes describe the abundance of life when that path is followed.

Yes, some people are depraved; whose sin is horrible. And even in their case, God loves them and longs to be reconciled.

But the overwhelming majority of God’s children are basically good people who simply get off track from time-to-time and, like the spacecraft on a NASA moonshot, need a mid-course correction to bring them back in line with the trajectory toward the abundant life God had in mind when God created humanity and called it “very good” (Genesis 1:31).

The biblical word for that mid-course correction is “repent.” The word in the original language means “to turn” or “to change one’s mind.”

Like life itself, faith grows through stages of development and maturity. Love, mutuality, and hope are the marks of mature faith.  A church that focuses only on overcoming sin and avoiding hell, to the exclusion of living the abundant life of loving (and sometimes sacrificial) service God prepared humanity to live, too often offers an incomplete, immature faith that does not include the spiritual strength to discern the meaning and purpose of one’s life. And when people are offered a vision of life that includes little beyond guilt and the need of forgiveness, that vision is abusive.

Each of us on our own journey of faith. There are lots of parallels and duplications; but there are things you see and feel and sense that I don’t; and vice-versa. Sometimes it’s nice to walk alone and enjoy the solitude; sometimes the journey is more enjoyable when shared. Faith becomes abusive when I attempt to force my insight on you—when square blocks are forced through round holes.

But here’s the key: Jesus said, “Follow me.” If we truly follow him, he won’t lead us wrong. When we meet along the way, I’ll celebrate that we can share at least part of the journey.

Here’s the Max Ehrmann poem. I think Jesus would say, “Amen!”

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Together in the Walk,

Jim